


Sastiel Love Week October 2016

by Zetal (Rodinia)



Series: The Boy With the Angel Blood [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M, Sastiel Love Week
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-28
Updated: 2018-01-27
Packaged: 2018-08-27 14:59:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 9,387
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8406175
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rodinia/pseuds/Zetal
Summary: A collection of my Sastiel Love Week ficsTags and warning for each as necessary.





	1. Favorite Thing About Each Other

If you ask Castiel why he loves Sam, there’s a long list of big things. Sam’s kindness. His forgiveness. His intelligence. His devotion to helping people and doing good. His beauty. His strength. How cute he is when he’s geeking out about something. How freaking adorable he is when he’s amused by something – sometimes Cas will deliberately misunderstand things or take something overly literally just to see Sam smile like that. There’s no denying that all of that is true.

But what Cas won’t say, ever, is that his very favorite thing about Sam is the way Sam just hands over control without anything said or done. It’s not a dominance thing. Cas doesn’t particularly want to control Sam or anything. But every time Sam curls up against him and drifts off to sleep, every time Sam seeks Cas out to open himself up and let himself be vulnerable, it takes Cas’s breath away. Sam, who has every reason to keep up walls, never let his protections drop or let anyone know that there’s anything left inside that can be hurt. Even with the people who love him most, because no one’s hurt Sam worse than Cas and Dean. And yet, not only does Sam not mind Cas seeing that side of him… Sam seems to want Cas to see it.

When Sam got back and Cas tried to find somewhere else for his NetFlix binging, Sam just smiled. Told Cas to stay, that he didn’t mind. When that turned into more than just sharing space, Cas had once again offered to leave while Sam slept. Sam talked in his sleep, and while it was mostly nonsense, one night he’d told Cas he loved him. He didn’t remember in the morning, but admitted that it was true and he hoped Cas would still be his friend, still hang out and that’s when Castiel had cut him off with a hug and a declaration of his own love. He’d offered to start leaving at night, in case Sam said something he didn’t want Castiel to know, and Sam had looked shocked. Practically begged Cas to stay and listen all he wanted. That he trusted Cas and if there was one thing he’d learned, it was that keeping secrets from people he loved was the worst thing ever. Even good secrets. Just look what happened when this last one had come out.

Cas couldn’t argue with that.

 

Like Cas, Sam could give you a long list of things he loves about Cas. He’d never admit that what he likes best about Cas is that Cas is just as broken as he is.

It sounds horrible, doesn’t it? “I love my boyfriend because he’s broken.” That’s not what he means. Not at all.

Cas is broken. And of all people, Sam understands why he’s broken – after all, Sam was there when he broke. When he rebelled against Heaven the first time, okay, Sam wasn’t _there_ , but he was the cause. It was his fault. If he hadn’t been dumb enough to believe Ruby, Cas would still be a good little angel, whole, in Heaven. If Sam had just been a better friend – given Cas that stupid hug way back when, the one that didn’t feel right because of how he was using Cas to get information, tricking him – maybe he could have helped Cas find another way. Even if he couldn’t, if they’d ended up deciding that this was the only way to go, at least Cas wouldn’t have had to break his wall. If he’d paid better attention to his friend, seen the way Cas was struggling after the Darkness came, Cas wouldn’t have let Lucifer in thinking it was all he had to contribute to the fight.

Cas is broken, and it’s Sam’s fault. And yet, Sam can dump his crap on Cas, and Cas will hold onto it for him while he sorts through it. Cas will listen, and offer advice, and then slam him down and help him forget it all for a little while. Cas doesn’t run from him, doesn’t ever look at him like he’s a freak or an abomination. Despite the obvious fact that Cas’s life would have been so much better if he’d never met Sam, Cas refuses to believe that or entertain the idea that Sam is anything but the best thing that has ever happened to him.

Call Sam selfish if you want. But that’s what he loves most about Cas.


	2. How They Got Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: possession, Lucifer, s12 pilot spoilers

For the most part, Castiel regretted saying yes to Lucifer. Lucifer had lied to him, used him, used his vessel to do horrible things – including trying to kill Sam. That was the one Castiel could never forgive himself for.

When he’d taken back control, he’d expected Lucifer to punish him harshly. He’d taken Sam’s memories. He’d watched Lucifer tormenting people and Crowley in Hell. He knew it would be bad. He’d pay whatever price, though, to see Sam safe.

Once the dust had settled, Lucifer came to visit. “I probably should have expected that, shouldn’t I.”

“I told you a long time ago. You are not taking Sam Winchester. I won’t let you.”

“Yes, you did. Such a peculiar thing.” Lucifer shifted in Cas’s vision, going from the cocky Nick to a twisted version of Sam. “I did take him, though. And I know you were just outside. You let me take him.”

“You didn’t take him. He gave himself to you. And he won.”

“Either way, I rode this beautiful, comfortable body around. The things this body is capable of… you can’t even imagine. And, of course, while I was in there, when we were chatting in the Cage, I learned pretty much everything there was to learn about Sam Winchester. For example, did you know he’s in love with you?”

“No, I didn’t. Why are you telling me this?”

“Well, you wouldn’t let me kill Sam, so I’ll just have to hurt him in other ways. Giving up his secrets is one of those things Sam’s not going to forget easily.” Lucifer grinned. “Neither is looking into the eyes of someone he loves and seeing me staring back, for that matter.”

So this was Lucifer’s revenge. Castiel had to admit, it was the worst thing Lucifer could have ever done to him. Sam would never be able to look at him the same again, not after seeing Lucifer where Castiel should have been.

 

Sam was safe. Lucifer was out there somewhere, but for right now, Cas was focused on Sam. He knew Crowley and Rowena were out there hunting down Lucifer.

“Cas? Can we talk for a bit?”

Castiel’s eyes closed briefly. He deserved it, and he knew that. That didn’t mean this would be easy. “Of course, Sam. How are you feeling?”

“Much better, thanks to you. I appreciate the healing.” Sam took a seat across the table from Cas. “Cas, I owe you so much gratitude. I know I can be an ungrateful ass sometimes, and I’m so sorry. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to express what it felt like when I realized it was you talking to me instead of Lucifer.”

“Of course, I can’t even begin to imagine what it felt like to realize the person you’d just declared your unconditional trust in had betrayed you yet again by letting Lucifer get that close to you.”

“Stop that. You did what you thought was right, what you thought you had to to save the world. I get that. Better than anyone else possibly could, I get that.” Castiel shook his head. He couldn’t just forget it. But Sam wasn’t done. “Cas? Can I… when Lucifer was in your head, did he… what did he tell you?”

“Everything he could think of. Whether it was something I already knew, was fairly certain of anyway, couldn’t possibly care less about… he wanted to hurt you, and I wouldn’t let him actually get to you. I’m sorry. I couldn’t stop him from telling me things.”

“No, I get that. I’m not blaming you for any of this. I was just wondering if he told you I love you.”

“Yes, he did.”

“Good, that means I don’t have to start from scratch here.” Sam smiled and reached out, taking Castiel’s hand. “Toni hit me with some really bad drugs, made me start hallucinating again. Watching everyone I love die, hearing them say that it’s all my fault… when the drugs wore off, I had a lot of time to think. And I decided that no matter what else happened when you found me, because I knew you would find me and save me, I was going to tell you about this. If you don’t feel the same way, that’s fine, I’m not going to…”

“I love you, Sam. But Lucifer…”

“Has worn both of us, and I’m not naive enough to think he didn’t use having worn me to attack you. We’re both gonna struggle with it. May as well struggle with it together, right?”

Castiel got to his feet, walking around the table to pull Sam into the tightest hug he could without hurting Sam. “Thank you. I love you.”

Sam’s arms wrapped around Cas. “I love you too.”


	3. AU

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Based on a prompt from @dailyau written by @writtenrain
> 
> “You were flirting with me and I didn’t think I’d ever see you again so I lied about my name and now we’re basically dating and I don’t know how to tell you the truth” AU
> 
> I went a little off-script with it.

They met at a concert over the summer. Sam was immediately drawn to the boy with the pretty blue eyes, and during intermission, went over to introduce himself. It was a huge risk for him, the first time he’d ever publicly flirted with a boy, on top of the usual fears of rejection and embarrassing himself.

He didn’t need to worry. Steve was amazing, and seemed to be into him, too. Steve was the one to suggest they go to IHOP for pancakes after the show, and Steve was thrilled with the idea of not driving home but getting a room together for the night.

They exchanged phone numbers in the morning, and Sam went to find Dean. Dean, naturally, was merciless about the teasing, but Sam didn’t care. It was worth it. Steve was amazing.

Until he tried to call Steve. The woman who answered the phone insisted that there was no one named Steve living in that house. Sam checked to make sure he’d dialed the right number, and it was the one Steve had given him. The one Steve had written down for him, so there was no chance that Sam had accidentally transposed two digits.

So when John changed all their phones again, Sam didn’t think twice. If Steve had given him a fake phone number, he almost certainly wasn’t going to call.

 

The first day of classes at Stanford, Sam nearly walked out of his world history class when he saw Steve. Steve saw him, too, and pointedly turned away to strike up a conversation with the pretty blonde sitting next to him. Sam sat near him, close enough that Steve could see him pointedly ignoring him to talk to his own pretty blond. Brady seemed nice enough.

Unfortunately, Brady was dating Jess, the pretty girl Steve was talking to. Which meant that when they were assigned a group project, Sam could either work with complete strangers instead of his actual friend, or he could work with Jess – who had bonded with Steve and brought him into their group as well.

If Brady and Jess noticed the discomfort when they first met up, they ignored it. When they left, Sam caught Steve’s arm. “Steve. Look. Can we at least be grownups about this and work together without making our friends deal with our shit?”

Steve looked at him funny, and then his eyes got huge and he burst out laughing. “I had completely forgotten that! Sam, my name isn’t Steve. My name’s Castiel. I tend to use fake names when I’m meeting strange people, because I haven’t come out to my parents. But I guess a guy who gives out fake phone numbers after hooking up would understand that.”

“You would know.”

“I gave you my real number! You’re the one who gave me a number that was out of service!”

“And when I called, there was… no one… named Steve…” Sam trailed off. “Of course, I might have gotten a different answer if I’d asked for Castiel?”

“Who did you talk to?”

“Some woman. I don’t remember her name, if she even gave me one.”

“Either my mom or my sister. I went home, changed, and went to work – and realized much later I’d left my cell phone at home. My family has a bad habit of answering my phone, and going through it. So I routinely dump records…” Castiel shook his head. "Doesn’t change the fact that your number was fake.”

“It wasn’t. It’s just… my dad is a paranoid bastard. We got new cell phone numbers every three months or so, and since I thought you’d given me a fake number…”

“Oh, no. Wow. I am… I should have given you my real name when I gave you the phone number. I’m sorry.”

“You do it to protect yourself. I’d hate to call and get your sister and say ‘hey this is the guy he was with last night, have him call me when he gets back’ and then I’ve just outed you to your family like a douchebag.”

“I’m still so, so sorry. I know it’s been a couple months, and it may be too late…”

Sam got to his feet and kissed Steve. No, kissed Castiel. “Never too late. Not for you.”


	4. Autumn Themed (Halloween)

Sam had never liked Halloween, and the way his Halloweens typically went, could you blame him? But Castiel was curious, and Sam could never say no to Cas when he asked to watch something on NetFlix. That had a lot more to do with the way Cas would ask him with a big bowl of popcorn and a pot of apple cider and promises of snuggles than anything else, but hey, he was only human.

Which is how he, Cas, and Dean ended up marathoning Halloween movies all day on October 31st. Their bunker was not on any trick-or-treat routes, they hadn’t found a hunt, and the weather was promising to be too bad to go out and do any of their usual fall stuff – playing in the leaves, hunting apples, driving around town looking at the Halloween decorations.

So when Castiel had asked if there were any good Halloween movies, and Dean started listing them off, Sam suggested the marathon. There was popcorn, candy, pumpkin-flavored everything (yes, including pie, Dean was there), coffee and cider and tea and of course beer. They set up to watch in Sam’s room, Cas sitting on the bed with Sam stretched out in front of him and Dean in a chair with his feet up on the bed.

During a break, while Dean was busy cooking some real food, Castiel wrapped his arms around Sam and leaned forward. “Why do you hate Halloween so much?”

“Too close to another anniversary. Hard to be in the mood to celebrate anything, let alone something that hits so close to the life that caused Mom’s death, you know?”

“Of course. I should have realized. Are you okay? Is this…?”

Sam twisted around to kiss Cas’s cheek. “We’re having a movie day with a horror theme. This is great. Really, we should do this more often.”

Castiel smiled. “We should.”

“So why are you so interested in Halloween?”

“Humans interest me. And something wonderful happened to me on the first Halloween I ever paid any attention to.”

Sam grinned. “Yeah? What happened?”

He was expecting a story about something hundreds of years ago, or at least, from before Sam was even born. He loved hearing Cas’s stories about the old days. Every fall, he got a little nostalgic for Stanford, and searched out some history books to learn something. Cas’s stories were even better. But as it turns out, this wasn’t one of them.

“I’ll confess, it wasn’t wonderful at the time, it’s only in looking back that I’ve realized just how fortunate I was that day. It went terribly, and I behaved horribly, but that was when I met the love of my life.”


	5. A Day in the Life

Most days, Castiel didn’t sleep. That didn’t mean he didn’t want to be there with Sam in his arms when Sam woke up. They’d talked about it, when they first got together. Dean had laughed at them both for being ridiculous. Cas didn’t want to make Sam uncomfortable, but he wanted to be with Sam; Sam wanted Cas there, but he didn’t want Cas getting bored. They’d agreed on Cas watching NetFlix while holding Sam.

When Sam started stirring, though, Castiel shut down the TV. Sam had protested at first, but Cas had convinced him that watching Sam wake up and seeing him in that brief window between sleep and picking up the weight of the world again would never be boring, was better than even the best TV shows.

Sam never even bothered with an alarm anymore. He just trusted Cas to wake him up if he needed to be awake for something. Then it was coffee and going out for a run. Sometimes, Cas cheated and flew short stretches – his wings were slowly healing, but it would be a long time before he could fly like he once did. Sam loved to watch him stretch his wings, though, and never said anything about him cheating on the run.

After running and a shower for Sam (and sometimes Cas, just because), Sam would usually settle in for some research. Sometimes Cas would join him, sometimes he’d find Dean and see what he was up to, and sometimes Castiel had his own project to work on.

Around lunchtime, Cas would text Claire. Claire would usually text back, telling Cas all about her most recent hunt or how boring her classes at college were, asking about Sam and Dean and teasing them all. Even better were the days when she would call to do the same thing.

Afternoons were for running errands, training with Dean, or more research. When Dean got hungry, he would track down Sam and start dropping hints about supper. Sam usually claimed not to be hungry, but Castiel kept an eye on him, and no matter what Sam said he always ate well if it wasn’t greasy fast food. He tended to eat best when Dean actually cooked something. Cas usually hung out with them during dinner, but didn’t eat. Sometimes, though, Dean insisted – mysteriously, there always seemed to be extra hamburgers around when that was dinner. Once in a while, especially as the weather started getting cold, Dean would make mac and cheese, and he always made Cas eat some.

Some evenings, Dean could get Sam to agree to go out, hit the bars, hang out like they did on the road. Some evenings, he would stay home, and the three of them would watch a movie or play a game or watch the stars all together. And sometimes Dean would go out, and Cas and Sam would spend the evening enjoying date night. Go out, stay in, either way it ended up with them in Sam’s room curled up together.

Most nights, Castiel didn’t sleep. Some nights, he did. At the end of a long day, there was nothing better than drifting off in the arms of his hunter.


	6. Hurt/Comfort or Angst

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Blood, dubious medical procedures, bed sharing

It was quiet. Castiel was taking advantage of Lilith’s recent smiting by Gabriel to relax with some of his angel friends. It seems that when Gabriel found out Lilith was trying to end the world and cause his brothers to fight, he didn’t appreciate that one bit. Balthazar had smuggled up some alcohol, and Rachel, Hannah, and Ezekiel had come to help the two of them drink it all.

“What are they really like? The righteous man, the boy with…”

“Don’t call him that,” Cas interrupted Ezekiel. “If it weren’t for the demon blood, I don’t know who Sam would have become. But he couldn’t have become a more faithful or forgiving soul. He has his flaws just like any other human, but why Hell thinks they have any claim on him is beyond me. I thought I would find him irritating, something to tolerate for the sake of the mission. I was wrong.”

“What about Dean?” Rachel asked.

“Also not at all what I expected. He’s brash, and he doesn’t believe. Like Sam, he’s convinced he’s not actually worth much of anything. He’s devoted to his brother and determined to save everyone. He’s a very good man,” Castiel said, adding for the sake of completeness, “but he can be aggravating.”

Case in point: just as Castiel got his beer open, he heard Dean screaming for him. He rolled his eyes and handed the beer to Balthazar. “I have to go. Dean. This probably won’t take long, I swear sometimes he calls just to see if I’m listening.”

 

When Cas got to Dean, though, all was forgotten as he took in the sight of Sam lying at the foot of a cliff in a growing pool of his own blood. On some level, Castiel was aware that Dean was talking to him, but the words washed over him as he dropped to his knees and shoved Dean out of the way. The worst injury was where a sharp stick had gone through Sam’s thigh, ripping a hole through the femoral artery. Cas slammed one hand over the top of it, sending grace flooding through the wound. His other hand went to Sam’s head, checking for concussion from the fall or brain damage from the blood loss.

His brain seemed fine, and the leg wound was healed, so Cas began a more thorough assessment. What he found sickened him. He drew his blade and used it to cut open his arm and Sam’s, pressing the two together and using his grace to force the blood from his arm into the human’s. He pulled off and healed Sam’s wound only when he realized he was starting to feel the cold.

“Room?” he said, finally turning to look at Dean as he pulled his arm in and pressed it as tight as he could against his body.

“12 at Pinecrest,” Dean said. “You’re talkin’ to me now?”

Cas ignored the rebuke. “Take hold.” Dean came forward and put a hand on Cas’s shoulder, and the angel flew them to the room. Once again, he fell to his knees, this time out of weakness.

Dean came to sit beside him with the first aid kit. “Okay, give me your arm.”

“Sam…” Cas tried to protest.

“I’m gonna need your help in a bit, but he’s okay for now. And you need that arm fixed up, but I saw you use your blade, so you gotta do it our way.” He pulled Cas’s arm away from his body and began cleaning and stitching the wound. “What the hell were you thinking, anyway? I was right there, you know I’m always happy to bleed for Sam, and you could’ve healed my cut.”

“I don’t care about this,” Castiel said, glaring at the arm. “I wasn’t thinking. All I could see was Sam was going to die unless he got blood quickly, and I couldn’t allow that to happen.”

“Kinda wish Sam had been awake for it. Not sure he’ll believe me when I tell him what you did,” Dean said.

“Why wouldn’t he believe? All I did was bleed for him,” Castiel said.

“Because he’s Sam,” Dean said as if that should explain everything. Sadly, it did. “Okay. I’m gonna lift Sam up into the bed, get the covers pulled down so we can tuck him in.”

“I’m stronger…”

Dean waved him off. “Normally, yeah, but you can’t even stand up right now and your arm’s held together by dental floss.” He lifted Sam, and Castiel helped him get the blankets over him and tucked as securely as possible around him. Once he was settled, Dean put a hand to Sam’s face. “He’s freezing. Get the blankets from the other bed.” Cas obeyed, and they got them over Sam.

“Okay, that’s about all we can do for the moment,” Dean said. “Let me see your arm again, get it wrapped up properly.” Cas held out his arm again, ignoring whatever Dean was doing in favor of watching Sam. “Jesus, you’re freezing, too. How much did you give him?”

“I don’t know,” Castiel said. “Clearly not enough. Why won’t he wake up?”

“He’s been through a lot and he had those nightmares last night, the ones where we didn’t run into Gabriel and Ruby turned out to be evil and managed to turn him? He’s exhausted.” Dean rocked back, looking between Cas and Sam for a moment before coming to a decision. He got up and pulled the blankets back from around Sam, scooting him over to one side of the bed. “Okay. Go on, get up there.”

Castiel gave him a startled look. “What?”

“You’re freezing, you’ve lost a lot of blood yourself, and I know you won’t let me pull the extra blankets off Sam for you,” Dean said.

Castiel shook his head. “I’ll be…”

“No, you won’t,” Dean said with remarkable patience. “Get up there so I can stop letting Sam’s heat escape. Other option is to get back to Heaven.”

“I can’t,” Cas said, reluctantly pulling himself up onto the bed and letting Dean tuck him in. “Not just because I can’t leave Sam. I’m too weak right now.”

“Yeah, thought so,” Dean said with an amused chuckle. “Me and Sam have had a bad influence on you. You’re not fine, so don’t try to bullshit me. I’m gonna look after you and Sam both. See if you can get some sleep, I’m gonna go get the car and some emergency supplies. If Sam wakes up, don’t let him get out of bed, tell him I’ll be back soon.”

When Dean got back, he wasn’t surprised in the least to find Castiel still awake. “Dude, relax. Get comfortable, get some rest. Actually, first, drink this.” He handed Castiel a Gatorade.

Cas drank it without comment, which Dean considered a small miracle itself. He handed the empty bottle back to Dean and returned to the stiff way he’d been lying under the blankets. “Cas, I mean it. I got this. Sam will wake up, he won’t wake up alone, you can relax.” Dean got Sam’s laptop and started browsing, breathing a sigh of relief when he looked over and saw Castiel had fallen asleep. “Finally.”

 

When Sam woke up, he was disoriented. “Dean?” he called, trusting in the one thing he could always count on.

“Sleeping Beauty awakes!” Dean said, and Sam propped himself up enough to look over at his brother. “How you feeling?”

“Cold. Everything hurts.” He sounded like a whiny child, and he knew it, but it was Dean. Dean had cared for him when he actually was a whiny child. “What happened?”

“What’s the last thing you remember?” Dean asked.

Sam thought back. “That asshole ghost throwing me off the cliff. Did you gank it?”

“Yeah, salted and burned, no problem,” Dean said, holding out a Gatorade. “You bounced a few times, managed not to break anything, but you were cut all to hell and managed to find a branch to land on that went through your leg. You should be dead. Thank God we’ve got an angel who likes us.”

Sam drank the Gatorade as quickly as he could. He finally figured out what felt off when Dean mentioned the healing. “What the hell happened to Cas?”

Dean smirked. “Sam Winchester, the boy with the angel blood.”

“What?” That made no sense.

“Cas went a little psycho when he saw you, a lot psycho when he realized how bad off you were,” Dean said, and Sam turned back to look at Castiel again. “Used his angel blade to rip open his arm to give you the world’s scariest transfusion. Managed to get us here, but by then he was too weak even to get back to Heaven.”

“Why?” Sam asked.

“Why what?” Dean looked completely blank.

“Why would Cas risk himself like that for me?” Sam clarified.

Dean snorted. “Maybe because you’re his friend?”

“Dean, you wouldn’t nearly kill yourself to…”

“Yes I would,” Dean interrupted.

Sam wanted to argue, but he really couldn’t. “Okay, for me, yes, you would. But for Jo? Bobby?”

Dean lost the smirk. “Sam, you weren’t awake, you didn’t see Cas’s face when he saw you. When he realized you wouldn’t make it unless he did something drastic and stupid. Not even kidding, he was wrecked.”

Sam shook his head. Dean couldn’t be right. “No. I don’t… I can’t believe that.”

“Believe me or don’t, but I know what I saw,” Dean said. He took the empty Gatorade bottle from Sam and threw it in the trash. He turned back and pointed at Sam. “Don’t even think about getting out of that bed, Sammy, you’re on bed rest until you’ve got some color back.” Sam had, in fact, been just about to attempt to get up, but he just shot Dean a bitchface and laid back against the pillows.

 

The next time Sam woke up, Dean had dozed off on the other bed. Cas was awake, though, staring at the ceiling. “Hey, Cas.”

“Sam.” Cas turned his head, and Sam was surprised to see the relieved smile on the angel’s face. “How are you feeling?”

“From what Dean told me, much better than I would be if it weren’t for you,” Sam said. “Thank you.”

“I’m so sorry, Sam,” Castiel said.

Which made no sense. “For what? Saving my life?”

“For not coming sooner. For you having to suffer the consequences of my irritation with Dean,” Castiel said.

“Cas, would a couple of seconds have made a difference?”

“We’ll never know, because I didn’t come immediately,” Castiel said. Apparently he was really feeling bad about this. “A few seconds more and I don’t think I could have saved you.”

“But you did,” Sam said softly. “Don’t beat yourself up over this. I’ll be fine, this is nowhere near the closest to death I’ve been.”

“Sam…”

“No. You made a mistake, and you fixed it. I’m not letting you stew in guilt over it.” Sam gave a rueful huff. “You’re one of us, you will, but I forgive you completely for whatever delay there was. Apology accepted.” Cas didn’t seem to have any response for that, so Sam decided to ask. “Cas, I’ll admit that my brain was still a little fuzzy when I talked to Dean earlier, but he says you cut your arm open to get me blood?”

“Yes.” Cas carefully maneuvered his bandaged arm up to where Sam could see it. “Dean stitched it up for me, and when I can get to Heaven, I’ll get the Rit Zien – the healers – to look at it and make sure everything’s good. It’s nothing for you to worry about.”

Sam reached out, fingers brushing the edge of the bandage ever so lightly. “You used your grace to keep out the contamination, right?”

“You mean from the dirt and such? Of course,” Castiel said.

“No, I meant… from me,” Sam said, not wanting to have to spell it out.

“What contamination?” Castiel said, wounded look changing to confusion. “I made sure the blood went into you as much as I could, of course. I may have taken in some of yours, especially right at the start. I hope I didn’t, you had so little to give.”

It looked like he had to, though. “Not to mention the demon component?”

“The demon… oh.” Cas actually looked rather startled by that. He couldn’t have forgotten that Sam was the boy with the demon blood, could he? “Right. I didn’t even think of that until just now. It doesn’t matter. Demon or not, it’s your blood, and I’m not concerned about taking your blood into my veins except that you nearly died from blood loss as it was.”

Sam stared in disbelief. “You didn’t think of that?”

“The only thing I was thinking about your blood is that entirely too much of it was on the outside of your body,” Cas said. “Sam, Dean said he didn’t think you would believe him about what happened. What I did.”

“Yeah, well, he wasn’t wrong, was he?”

“Why not?”

“Because. Why would you risk yourself like this for me? I fell for Ruby’s manipulation. If we hadn’t found Gabriel… I see it in my dreams almost every night. I’d have let Lucifer free.”

“But you didn’t. When a better option presented itself you were perfectly happy to go along with it. “

“But I’m still the…”

“I refuse to hear that title from my colleagues in Heaven anymore. I am absolutely not taking that from you of all people. I was wrong to say that, wrong to allow Heaven’s opinion of you dictate my words and actions instead of seeing you for who you are. And I am sorry.”

Sam blinked. “You are?”

“Yes. I told… no, you weren’t there. I told Dean that Heaven was starting to have concerns about me, fearing I was beginning to show emotion. When the angel they set to guard me against that turned out to be on Lucifer’s side, I… may have thrown a bit of a tantrum to my superiors. Used some of the vocabulary I’ve acquired from Dean.”

Sam couldn’t help laughing at the mental image of an angel throwing a tantrum. “What’d they do to you? They had to be pissed at your disrespect.”

“Oh, they were. Unfortunately for them, we found Gabriel not long after. After smiting Lilith Gabriel returned to Heaven for the first time in millennia and threw a fit that made mine look like nothing. Even Michael was impressed. Impressed enough that as long as I continue to follow orders and serve with honor, I can explore my emotions all I want. If I can ever convince her, Anna will be welcomed back into the Host.”

“Wow. That’s… I’m glad we found Gabriel. Saved the world, saved you.”

“How are you feeling? Does your leg hurt?”

“I’m tired despite all the sleep I’ve been getting, but other than that, I feel fine. I didn’t even know where I’d bled from until Dean told me. So thank you, you did a great job healing me.”

“Good.”

“I still… I still don’t get why, Cas. I mean, after Alastair…”

“I was still on Uriel’s leash, not free to follow my heart. My superiors are going to be upset at how far I took it, but they won’t punish me about it.”

“How are you? Any idea when you can go back to Heaven?”

“I’m going back when you go back to sleep. But I wanted to talk to you, make sure that you would be okay. I couldn’t leave you.”

“But your arm…”

“If there is something wrong, the Rit Zien will fix it for me. It doesn’t matter if I stay here a while. But if you didn’t believe I would do this for you, then you wouldn’t have prayed to let me know that you were feeling better. I couldn’t leave you.”

“Dean would’ve let you know…”

“Likely, but why take that chance?”

“For your arm. You could’ve come back.”

“But that would involve leaving you, and I couldn’t do that.”

“Why not?”

“Because you nearly died, and that upset me greatly.”

“And here I thought you didn’t even like me.”

Castiel stared at him. “I love you. That was the first thing that happened once I was out of trouble.”

“You… what?”

“I love you.”

“Were you going to tell me about that?”

“I was trying to figure out how. I was planning on asking Dean for help if I couldn’t come up with something soon. This is… not what I had envisioned.”

“Good. Because if you planned my near-death, then I don’t think I’d be able to return it.” Sam made a face. “Or believe it, for that matter. You don’t go around nearly killing people you love.”

“No.” Castiel curled his fingers around Sam’s. “So you think you might be able to return it?”

“Kinda halfway there last Halloween,” Sam admitted with a shy smile. “You’d think that would’ve put an end to it, but it didn’t. And now I’ve gotten to know you, and for all the resentment, I could see you were as awesome as I thought you were. Now that I know there’s a pretty good chance I won’t end up getting hurt, I’m pretty sure I will return it.”

“What do we tell Dean?”

“I don’t know. But we are telling him. I’ll work on that while you’re getting your arm healed.”

“Sam, I am not going to lose my arm, it doesn’t hurt, I just need to get it checked. I don’t want to leave until you’re better.”

Sam rolled his eyes, but scooted a little closer to Castiel. “In that case, come here. Cuddling is nice. I think you’ll like it.”

(Spoiler alert: Castiel liked it. A lot.)


	7. Revisiting Over A Year Later With A Sequel To Day 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Written from a Tumblr kiss prompt for a shy kiss from LadyShadowphyre. Sequel to the immediately prior chapter.

Cuddling was nice. As Sam has said, Castiel enjoyed it. He was rather sorry when Sam drifted back off to sleep, but he had given his word that he would leave and seek proper healing for his arm.

Ephraim listened stoically to the story, and when he was finished healing the arm, he slapped Castiel on the back of the head. “Next time, think about things before you go mutilating yourself. You don’t know what the demon blood could have done to you, you don’t know what the angel blood is going to do to him, and Dean was right there and willing.”

“If I’d waited to get Dean over there, it may have been too late. The demon blood has done nothing to me.” Castiel examined his arm. “I sincerely hope that there is no such thing as ‘next time’, but if there is, I’ll keep your words in mind.”

He wanted to go straight back to Sam, but Sam needed rest, and Castiel had work to do. When he heard Dean shouting for him, this time, he didn’t hesitate. He went.

Not fast enough for Dean, naturally. “There you are! What the fuck?”

“What’s going on?”

“Sammy here is convinced he’s sick and needs a shrink because he’s having delusions. Knock some sense into him?”

Castiel approached Sam cautiously. Sam’s eyes widened and he backed away a little. “Sam. What’s wrong?”

“You look... different. You’re glowing.”

“Oh.” Castiel looked over to Dean. “Do I appear normal to you?”

“Yeah.”

“Good. Sam, this may be because of the transfusion I gave you. You have traces of grace-infused blood in you now, and you’re seeing glimpses of my true form. It’s nothing to fear, it’s just me.”

“You... that...” Sam shook his head. “I had some strange dreams last night...”

Castiel felt his heart wrench. At least this time, when he stepped forward, Sam didn’t back away. He didn’t flinch when Castiel reached for his hands. “If you refer to our conversation about your transfusion and the results of the tantrums Gabriel and I threw in Heaven... that was no dream, Sam. I left when you fell asleep, because I had promised, but I meant what I said.”

“All of it? You... you meant that? That was real?”

“All of it.”

Sam squeezed Castiel’s hand, and very shyly bent to kiss Castiel. Castiel waited patiently, but made sure to kiss back once Sam finally got there.


	8. Angelic Auras

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Continuation from the previous two chapters.

“Hey Ca…” Sam trailed off as he turned around. Logically, he must have known that Castiel wasn’t the only angel out there and the whoosh of wings didn’t necessarily mean Castiel was visiting, but he couldn’t imagine why any other angel would want to come. Anna, maybe, but this wasn’t Anna, either.

The weirdest part was that he didn’t even need to see the angel’s vessel to know that this wasn’t Castiel. His boyfriend – and how weird was that to think about, that he had an angel boyfriend now – felt like a sun-warmed patch of soft soil, comforting and welcoming and perfect. This guy felt like a campfire, still comfortable, but more dangerous at the same time. The glows were different as well – while Castiel was a deep cornflower blue, this guy was a much brighter pale turquoise. “Sorry. Uh, did Cas send you for something?”

“Not exactly.” The angel stared at him for a moment. “My name is Balthazar. Cassie is one of my best friends. I just wanted to meet the human who Castiel nearly maimed himself for. Dunno what the big deal about you dying was, your Reaper would just bring you upstairs and he could see you there as much as he wanted.”

“Probably because that’s how the Apocalypse got started, I died and Dean couldn’t handle it so he sold his soul to Hell. Don’t think he’d take it any better this time around.”

“Huh. Guess that’s true.” Balthazar nodded to him. “Friend of Cassie is a friend of mine. If you ever need anything and Cas can’t help you, feel free to call.” He disappeared, leaving Sam slightly confused.

 

An hour or so later, there was another whoosh of wings. This time, Sam reached out. Not Cas, not Balthazar – this one felt like a simmering volcano, not dangerous unless provoked but capable of great devastation if necessary. Her aura, as Sam had decided to call the glowing he could see from the angels, was more yellow, very bright and sunny. “Friend of Castiel, or messenger?”

“I’m an angel, of course I’m a messenger, that’s literally what we are. But I’m here as a friend of Castiel’s. Rachel.” She looked at him, and her wings folded self-consciously. “You can see my wings?”

“Uh, yeah, kind of. It’s more of a glowing outline than something specific, but… yeah, I see wings. Cas’s wings are a lot clearer to me, but…”

“Hmm. That’s probably because it’s his grace that’s affecting you, but still, interesting.”

“Wait, grace? Affecting me? How?”

“Demon blood is the blood of humans possessed by demons. It’s infused by the sulfur of Hell as long as the demon remains inside. A human possessed by an angel’s blood becomes infused with grace. When Castiel gave you that transfusion of his blood, you took some of his grace inside you. It’s also been known to happen through sex, too, if the two of you have gone there yet.”

“This has happened before?”

“Well, yeah, you’re not the first human to fall in love with an angel. Although usually, it’s just a heightened sensitivity to that angel’s presence and state. We’ve never seen side effects like this before, not like this, but we’ve never had someone brought back from the brink of death by an angel’s blood, either. Always before, anyone who got to where they could see any angel’s halo and wings was pregnant with a Nephilim. You’re not.”

“Well, no, obviously not. What happened after birth?”

“Most of the time the mother died. In the very rare case where the angel involved could be bothered to take care of the child’s mother so she’d live through it, the side effects disappeared after the birth. Yours may fade over time, or they may get stronger. I should really report this to someone who knows better than a soldier would.”

“Wait! I… I don’t want to cause trouble for Castiel. Is this going to get him…”

Rachel smiled, and her wings fluttered a bit. “Don’t worry about Castiel. He’ll be fine. Want me to tell him to drop by?”

“No, I don’t want to bother him if he has work to do.”

 

It was difficult to breathe at first the next time an angel dropped by, and for a moment, everything dimmed and went blue. Sam had to shield his eyes from the golden glare as he tried to make sense of things – it felt like being dragged under the ocean. With his eyes shielded, he could see the vessel, though. “Gabriel?”

“Wow, kiddo. I thought Rach and Cas were making this up. You okay there?”

Sam nodded. “I’m fine. Just took me by surprise, that’s all.”

“Okay.” The golden glare faded, and Sam gratefully dropped his hand. “Sorry about that. Should’ve had it dialed back to begin with. Just because I’m not gonna literally burn your eyes out doesn’t mean I can’t blind you.”

“You can dial it back? How?”

“Angelic dimmer switch, basically. Most angels don’t need them, but seraphs can be dangerous, and archangels, well. We’re a lot more powerful than your average josiel.” Gabriel smirked and held out a hand. “Good to see you again. How’s life in a post-apocalyptic world?”

Sam shook the hand offered. “Technically there was no apocalypse so this isn’t post-apocalyptic. It does seem like the monsters are stirred up a little more than they were before Lilith showed, and of course the demon army Azazel and Jake set free’s still out there.”

“Adjusting well to the new grace-sensing abilities?”

Sam shrugged. “No offense, but I’m hoping that aside from Cas your guys will mostly leave me and Dean alone. So far it hasn’t been bad, but I don’t want to think about what Uriel would have felt like. Cas and his friends feel fine, but someone who was actively hostile…”

“I kinda overwhelmed you, I know, but now that it’s dialed back am I okay?”

Sam concentrated, reaching out to feel Gabriel’s aura. “Yeah. Now instead of drowning in the ocean it feels like I went scuba diving or something. There’s definitely danger, but like Rachel, it’s well contained.”

“Hmmm. I know Cas is encouraging his friends to leave you alone, but a lot of them are curious about you. If it’s all right, I’d like to send a Rit Zien to check you out, just to be sure that we’re not in for some surprise. Might be able to get you answers about what’s going to happen to you, too, whether this is permanent or it’ll wear off.”

Sam swallowed hard and then nodded. “That makes sense. Okay.”

 

Ephraim felt like an arctic wind, and the silver halo didn’t help much. Sam shivered a bit while Ephraim examined him. “Well?”

“In anyone else, it would have faded as the grace-infused cells were replaced with your own.” Ephraim pulled his hands away from Sam, who tried not to be too obvious about his relief. “But you… your blood was already not entirely human, and the grace has settled into your marrow. If anything, it will only grow stronger. In what I hope you consider good news, grace is stronger than sulfur. The demon blood has been completely purged from you.”

Sam gasped and stared at his hands, the only exposed skin he could see, as if he could see through to the blood within. He was happy – but there was a part of him that felt it as a loss, too. That demon blood, that feeling of wrongness, had been with him since he could remember, well before he knew what was causing it. “What does that mean for my powers?”

Ephraim shrugged, a disapproving frown crossing his face. “You’ve been told not to use them, but that was when you were powering them with demon blood. Powering them with grace shouldn’t be a problem, but you should test them before using them. They’ll likely feel different. I should go report back to my superiors. I know Gabriel is keenly interested.”

 

Sam slammed his eyes closed the second he walked into the room, and covered them with his hands for good measure. It was just too bright, and the different colors were dazzling him. So far, he’d been able to keep this from Dean, but now, with Dean right behind him, there was no way.

Castiel’s warm, homey feeling was easy to pick out, and Sam instinctively moved toward him. Dean stayed close, one hand on his back. “Sammy, what’s wrong?” he whispered as softly as he could in Sam’s ear.

Sam didn’t answer until he felt Castiel’s hand as well. It helped to ground him, so to speak, and let him start sifting through the others. Rachel’s volcano was there, but no one else was familiar to him. “Everyone in this room but you and me is an angel. It’s… overwhelming.”

“Overwhelming? Huh? I mean, I know you’re not a big fan of the winged dickmonkeys aside from Castiel, but…”

Sam recoiled as he felt some of the angels’ auras flare. “Dean, just… don’t piss them off? Please?” Once he felt tempers quelling, he added, “Maybe find me some sunglasses? Might do enough good that I’m not doing this blind.”

While Dean rifled through Sam’s bag, Sam took the time to clarify what he was feeling. Apart from Cas and Rachel, there were four other angels in the room. One felt like the heat of a forge, another like a cool autumn rain, a third like mist… and then there was the last one. They felt like granite, and Sam flinched from them almost immediately.

Dean pulled one of Sam’s hands from his face and put the sunglasses in it. “Now you gonna tell me what the fuck is going on here? How do you know they’re angels?”

Sam put the glasses on and opened his eyes. They helped, both muting the colors and filtering the overall amount of light. “I can feel angels’… I don’t know how to describe it. They just feel like _something_ to me. I can see their halos and wings – one on one, it’s not too bad, but with six of them here…”

Castiel moved to take Sam’s now-free hand. “I apologize. I tried to convince Zachariah that frustrating though it was, one at a time was better, but he insisted that anyone who wished to meet you should just come get it over with.”

Zachariah. That was the granite, and now that Sam could see the aura, it was a deep red, almost crimson. Dean recoiled. “Zachariah? Isn’t that the asshat who dumped us in that bad office AU while you threw your little tantrum in Heaven?”

Sam flinched as the granite grew sharper. “Dean. Please.”

Castiel nodded. “Indeed. One of my immediate superiors, as well. Also with me are Rachel, Ezekiel, Hannah, and Samandriel. My friends.”

“Okay. And they’re here why…?”

Samandriel smiled at Sam. “We wanted to meet the boy with the angel blood, the one who’s made our friend Castiel so happy and helped him find a measure of peace he hasn’t known for a very long time. He doesn’t fit in very well in Heaven – too much heart. Now he has an outlet for that.”

“And now you have, so everyone back…” Zachariah trailed off as the room started to shake.

Sam fell to his knees as a burning sensation filled his flesh, like he’d fallen into the sun. The white light that filled the room was too much, even with his sunglasses, but he knew who this had to be. He forced himself to his feet, using his larger body to shield Dean from Michael’s view for all the good it would do.

“Castiel, stay here. Zachariah, report to my office, you and I will be having a chat when I get done here. Everyone else, back to work. Now.” As soon as everyone was gone, Michael dimmed his light and heat to an almost laughably weak level. “Sam. My apologies if I’ve injured you.”

Now that Sam could see again, Michael’s vessel looked a lot like a younger version of John Winchester, like Sam half-remembered from his childhood. “I’ll live.”

Dean smacked Sam’s back, trying to get him to move, but Sam didn’t. “Not a cow, Dean. Don’t herd me like one.”

“Whatever. The fuck’s happening? Who’s this?”

“My name is Michael. I’m the Prince of Heaven, the leader in our Father’s absence, and Sam, there’s no need to protect your brother from me. If I wanted to take him, you couldn’t stop me if he said yes. I don’t need the power of my True Vessel, so I’ll stick with this one.”

“Your what now?” Dean demanded.

“If the Apocalypse had happened, you were to be my vessel. Sam, naturally, was Lucifer’s. That doesn’t matter now, the Apocalypse is averted, you two are safe. Sam, if your new abilities ever become too much for you, pray or send word through Castiel. We’ll figure something out to help you, I promise. Goodbye.” Michael took his leave, and Sam collapsed to his knees again.

Castiel was at his side in an instant, Dean crouched behind them. “Sammy, when were you gonna tell me about this shit?”

“Uh… not sure, really. The demon blood’s gone, Ephraim said, but I’m still trying to process it all. Sorry.”

Dean shook his head and got to his feet. “You gotta stop with the secrets, man. I can’t help you with what I don’t know about. Cas, there a chance this could be as bad as the demon blood?”

“No. Demon blood was slowly corroding his soul. Grace will only strengthen it. As Sam becomes acclimated to his new sensitivies, he should be fine.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Each Archangel is associated with one of the four Greek elements in lore. Michael is fire, Gabriel water, and Raphael air. Earth is said to be ruled by Uriel. Since Uriel is a) dead and b) not an archangel in the Supernatural 'verse, I've made earth associated with Lucifer instead. (Uriel and Lucifer are connected in that in tarot, they're the two angels chosen to be put on The Devil card.)  
> The angels' auras reflect which archangel they're associated with.
> 
> [The story continues!](http://archiveofourown.org/works/13719189)


	9. Happily Ever After

One day, perhaps, Sam would be used to it. He hoped that day never came. The bunker was chaos now. The family was so much bigger. 

Dean was married now. It had been a shock when Jo showed up in the middle of the library, with a message from Amara. She’d adjusted well to being alive again, thanks to Mary, and they became best friends. They had two kids, twins Ellie and Bobby. Mary was glad to have family younger than her, and spoiled her grandchildren rotten.

Sam was sort of married. As far as the family was concerned, his marriage to Cas was just as valid as Dean and Jo’s, but they hadn’t bothered with any kind of official ceremony. They hadn’t planned on kids, because of the oddness of their lives making a proper adoption difficult to arrange, but then they went on a hunt. An entire family had been killed – except for a baby girl. Sam swore to Dean that they were just taking her until they could find extended family or friends, but that never panned out. All her grandparents were dead, no aunts or uncles or cousins. By then, they’d all fallen in love with Joanna, so they decided to stop looking.

When Claire finished her degree, she was still determined to hunt. She came down and joined the family. Castiel was thrilled to have her there, and she ended up fitting in very well. She hunted, she babysat, she researched, and she made life more fun.

As the kids grew, there were some truly epic shouting matches between the adults. Jo wanted to continue the hunting dynasty. Mary and Dean didn’t want their kids to know anything. Sam and Cas took a middle of the road approach, planning to teach Joanna to protect herself and do the research but encouraging her not to hunt. Claire, of course, immediately ran for the hills as soon as anything started up.

Eventually, there wasn’t much choice for it. Mary and Dean couldn’t do anything about Sam and Cas teaching their daughter what they thought she needed to know, and they couldn’t stop Joanna from teaching Ellie and Bobby. So they caved, and the three kids were all given lessons. Jo helped promote the idea of going to college and making sure to look at options before signing on as a full-time hunter, as did Claire, much to everyone’s surprise.

So that’s what the Bunker was like now. Three kids complaining about their extra homework from the Men of Letters library, Claire trying to help them, Jo and Mary arguing over whether they needed to teach the kids swordfighting, Cas and Dean talking about a couple potential hunts. It made Sam smile when he got back from his grocery run.

It was a far cry from him with a book and Dean on his laptop, drinking their beers in near-silence. But this was Sam’s life now. And he loved it.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments make love weeks even better!


End file.
